第一，开头写得随性，且不简洁；

第二，没有抓住数据最突出趋势或者特点进行概括性描述得意识；

第三，描述数据时过于老实巴交，没有呈现表达上的变化；

第四，句型单一；

第五，也是最重要的一点，忽略了小作文的任务要求：make more comparisons。多作比较。很多人几乎没有呈现任何比较。

麦考瑞雅思老师要提醒各位同学，雅思小作文没有拿7分以上的实力的话，那么你的雅思写作整体上7分的难度也相当高。

在麦考瑞雅思老师授课和批改的过程中，最需要格外去提醒同学们建立意识、反复训练的就是——比较。

那么，雅思数据类小作文的比较呈现在哪些方面呢？

它们可以呈现在句子和句子之间，也可以在一个句子的内部呈现，或者通过more or les，most or least, 也可以通过相似处或者不同处来表达，当然，更可以直观地通过数据来比较。我们今天就来学习以上几种表达方式，顺便学习一些可以提升你的小作文表达气质的句型。

关于数据的比较

More/less/fewer

4 million fewer units of gas were sold in Shanghai.

Twice as…as

Twice as many people chose IT as their major as the people who opted for Medicine.

Three/four etc times

Four times as many people lost their jobs in Northern Ireland as with that in England.

Half

Electricity was half as popular as gas in India.

关于不同点的比较 differ/ different /difference

The amount of time spent at home differed by almost 25% according to gender.

There was a difference of over 25% in the amount of time males and females spent at home.

This figure was very different among males, only half of whom watched television.

关于相似处的比较

Similar (to)

The percentages of females and males who studied languages at university were very similar.

A similar amount of gas and electricity was used domestically in homes.

The figures for 2012 were very similar to the figures for 2013.

Same as ...as

The percentage of females who studied at university in 2011 was almost exactly the same asin 2012.

最多的和最低的数据比较

The most popular form of entertainment in the UK was going to the cinema.

The least common form of transport was taking a taxi.

表达相对较少

Than

5% more girls chose to read books than go to cinema.

Fewer/less （用于不可数名词）

Fewer mobiles phones were bought in 2013 than 2014.

Less oil was consumed in 2013 than 2014.

在句子内部如何比较？

while

While there are 4 million miles of train lines in the UK, there are only 3 million in France.

whereas

Whereas the majority of the French prefer to travel to work by train, only a small minority of the British do.

although

Although 15% of the French read novels, only 5% of the British do.

but

Almost 25% of French females study maths with a private tutor, but nearly 60% study English with one.

在句子和句子之间比较

In contrast

The most popular form of holiday among the Welsh was self-catering with over 60% choosing to cook for themselves. In contrast, only 5 % of the English chose this form of vacation and hotel accommodation was much more popular at 48%.

In comparison

Almost 50% of the English, Scots and Northern Irish chose to stay in a hotel for their holiday. In comparison, staying in self-catering accommodation was much less popular with around 10% of people choosing this.

However

The general pattern was for hotel accommodation to be the most popular with around half the people choosing it. The majority of the Welsh, however, chose to stay in self-catering accommodation.

On the other hand

It is clear that a majority of the British chose to stay in hotel for their holiday. On the other hand, there was an exception to this because over 50% of the Welsh opted for self-catering accommodation .

最后，我们通过一篇雅思9分小作文来看看这位作者的比较任务是如何完成的？在body段落内，几乎每句话中都会呈现对比。

The charts show the average velocity of city traffic over a fifty year timescale, with a forecast for the future, and also the amount of urban zones by country.

We can see that the general trend is for the speed to increase and then decrease.For example, in France, it increased from 60 kph in 1970 to a peak of 86 kph in 1990, tailing off to a forecast 52 kph in 2020.Similarly, we see the USA peak at 57 kph in 1990, declining to 43 kph at the end. The UK and Russia have a similar trend,rising to 56 and 72 kph respectively in 2010 before falling to below the starting level. The same happensin Canada with a decline from 69 kph to 64 kph despite a peak of 73 kph.

Chile, however, fluctuates around 51kph, but remains static over the period. Italy, Brazil and Spain, by contrast, show a clear rise, finishing at 58, 57 and 61 kph respectively.

Regarding urban zones, all countries except onesee predicted increases of roughly 4 times by 2020. The exceptionis Russia, which sees a fall of about half to 3,200.

Overall, the data does not suggest any correlation between increasing urban zones and average traffic speeds.